Apparently , Hollywood justmade the kooky decisionto hurl Ashton “ One Third of Two and a Half humans or Just 5/6th of One Man ” Kutcher as the lead in an coming Steve Jobs biopic . Yes , there is some resemblance between Ashton and young Steve Jobs . Yes , Ashton is a famous guy . But mass , he ’s … Ashton Kutcher .
https://gizmodo.com/ashton-kutcher-to-play-steve-jobs-in-upcoming-movie-cl-5898258
We can do better .
Let him do Punk’d . Let him supervene upon unbalanced man Charlie Sheen in an frightful television show that somehow stick around on the air . Let him marry Demi Moore . Let him take awkward mental picture with Bruce Willis . have him even escort Rihanna . Let him be Hollywoowoo and do all the thing that Hollywood celebrities do . Just do n’t get him recreate Steve Jobs . Here ’s a list of actors — as in people who in reality act — we’d rather see act Apple ’s dearly deceased leader before Ashton the Kutch .
Stanley Tucci
you may totally see it .
Noah Wyle
Did it fairly honorable before . Did it pretty in effect for Steve Jobs at MacWorld . passably good for me .
Larry David
He could nail the older years of Jobs if he need to .
Patrick Stewart
Nerd crowd already loves him .
Christian Bale
safe actor in Hollywood , proficient at being an cocksucker and notoriously skilled at gather and lose weight .
Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul
Because there ’s no such thing as too much fall apart Bad or Bryan Cranston . Paul could play young job , Cranston can play quondam job .
Keanu Reeves
Because he ’s Keanu and this would make him happy . perchance .
Mark Strong
As you’re able to tell , any bald , middle cured white man is better than Ashton . Even a bald , middle cured English chap .
Ralph Fiennes and/or Joseph Fiennes
Or these English chaps . Would prefer Ralph to Joseph but totally cool with either and/or both .
CGI
Pretty sure Apple could formulate some SJX software for the picture .
Justin Long and/or John Hodgeman
It ’d be good , I curse !
Kermit
Because , really ? Ashton Kutcher ? Really ?
Arnold Schwarzenegger and/or Tim Tebow
At least pick someone likable ! Or even inspiring !
Justin Bieber
Or someone that ’ll make the film ridiculously profitable .
Zooey Deschanel
Or just someone that ’s not Ashton Kutcher .
AppleAshton KutcherMoviesSteve Jobs
Daily Newsletter
Get the better tech , skill , and culture news in your inbox day by day .
News from the time to come , save to your present .
You May Also Like
