As reporters and editors , we at Gizmodo like to investigate stuff and take question . But there come a time when you ’re flap and have to reach out for assistant .
That ’s why we ’re coming to you , our lector , with a question we have n’t been able to answer despite weeks of probing .
So :
Illustration by Sam Woolley
Did you have sex at Gizmodo ’s Star Trek al-Qur’an political party ?
Because someone had sexual practice at Gizmodo ’s Star Trek book party .
Was it you ?
Not an invitation to a sex party
Did a discussion on what we can learn about the succeeding economy from Star Trek make you all tingly ?
Did you turn the mostly healthful Gawker Media federal agency into a splooge - caked sex dungeon where even work force chance maternity just by sitting on the furniture ?
Ugh !
The night of June 13 , 2016 started innocently enough . A medium - sized gang had gather at Gawker Media HQ to celebrate the launching of Manu Saadia ’s book Trekonomics : The Economics of Star Trek , which was being release on Felix Salmon ’s imprint , Pipertext . It was a endearing even . There were bite , vino , domesticated and imported beer . Saadia spoke articulately on his tome , whichreviewerscall “ a fanciful romp through the economic theories that bear out Final Frontier lifetime in the mid-22nd through late-24th hundred . ”
Romp indeed . This asshole is catnip .
It was n’t until almost all of the client had left that Gawker Media ’s Victor Jeffreys II realized some shenanigans were afoot . As the last security guard leave , she distinguish Victor she suspect there was still someone in the second floor ’s female toilets . Victor walked over , heard some rustling go bad on inwardly and bump . The whisper stop .
Two min croak by . Then five . Then ten . Nothing . Then more rustling . The office was empty and the party was over . clip to go .
But Victor was n’t about to go barging in . Luckily , Jezebel ’s Julianne Escobedo - Shepherd was still punishing at study upstairs and Victor tapped her to give the errant client a nudge . “ I dip my promontory in and there ’s patently someone in the first cubicle , ” Julianne told me . “ I hear a petty shuffling . I ’m like ‘ Hey ma’am sorry but we have to get everyone out of here ’ . She ’s like ‘ Ok , just a arcminute . ’ ”
More shamble . Five minutes go by . Victor and Julianne put out around the turning point to give the client some seclusion and they pick up the the bathroom door tight . The long dark - haired woman is followed by a tall man with unretentive - clip hair . They ’re covetous , re - arrange themselves , “ Canoodling , ” as Julianne describes it . Giggling and apologetic , they stop to take a selfie in Gawker ’s pressure group , then continued walking down the stair , only to stop for a mid - trajectory case - suck . Not that Julianne and Victor looked , they assure me . They could discover everything .
And that ’s all we know .
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