Sean “Diddy” Combsis still mourning the love of his life.
Posting an old photo of himself cuddling with Porter on a couch, Combscaptioned the photo“SMH” (meaning “shaking my head”) with a broken heart emoji.
Porterdied of lobar pneumoniaon Nov. 15 in her Toluca Lake, Calif. home after suffering from flu-like symptoms for days at the time of her death.
The day after Porter’s death, a sourcetold PEOPLE: “Diddy is devastated and shocked. He and Kim were still very close friends and co-parents even though their romantic relationship didn’t work. They were still a family.”
Kim Porter and Sean “Diddy” Combs.Chris Polk/FilmMagic
Another source close to Combs said that he is “is very muchstruggling.”
“This is the most awful, sad and unreal situation for him. It’s a nightmare,” the source continued. “He isn’t sleeping. He always had a very special relationship with Kim. Despite not being together romantically, he loved Kim. It was really true love, and he is hurting badly right now.”
Combsbroke his silence for the first time after her death on Nov. 17,writing on Instagram, “For the last three days I’ve been trying to wake up out of this nightmare. But I haven’t.”
Kim Porter with Sean “Diddy” Combs and their children.Charley Gallay/Getty Images
“I just want to say to my kids, Justin, Christian, D’Lila, Jessie, Chance and the other man in the house, Quincy: Your mother instilled in me this, and I pledge in front of everybody right now that I will always be there for you,” Combs said as the audience applauded. “I will always take care of you.”
Eliciting laughter and claps, Combs added, “To the girls especially, we about to enter some different type of times. I want you to be able to talk to me about everything, and I mean everything, and I mean everything.”
The couple began dating in the ’90s and had their three children throughout their on-and-off-again relationship.
Combs and Porter broke up in 1999 and battled in court over child support for Christian; Combs also datedJennifer Lopezfor two years before he and Porter reconciled in 2003. They split for the final time in 2007.
source: people.com
